Autumn in February
By: Chris Czach Hidalgo - 02.22.99

Isn't it weird when something unexpected in your life takes place, the world keeps going?

Inner, non-physical pain is meaningless to anyone else who cant' feel it.

The pain selfishly concentrates on consuming only your desires and masks all your motivation to do anything.

A haze clouds over and secretly replays every pain-filled memory after memory... dissolving your confidence with every stroke.

Tears come and go and hide any path toward light at the end of the tunnel.

To fight it, Initiative must be found. With It's location unknown, energy must be redirected to find it.

Weapons must be found to wage war against the things that make you insanely aware of painful thoughts.

Leaning on a friend's comforting words refuel a struggling soldier.

Hope makes an appearance and shed's light on the desperate situation.

Know that the invisible fragrance of brokeness is seen! The smell of pain is considered! The bones that have been stripped of their flesh will live.

Once the realization of this truth takes hold within the heart, it shed's old skin and heaviness is lifted.

A brightness enfolds the soul. Hope multiplies and gives birth to peace.

A first step is taken, again, and the journey of life continues... remembering that this will happen again sometime in the future.

If you got this far, I appreciate your tolerance. I just thought I'd sit down and write down how I was feeling.

I hope I haven't spooked you.  I just wanted to communicate how I was feeling in words to get a direct look at my insides.

My intentions were to spot any battles I could conquer to stop the relentless torture of a mindset on destroying my hope.

Solutions written and considered... and soon to be implemented, I look forward to the future... even the next moment.

Just a feeble attempt to figure my mind out, and how powerful a hold it can have on my spirit.

I now rest in my thoughts, both down and up, knowing the tunnel stretches for quite a few miles yet.

My quest continues.